Romance Scam Warning Signs — Before You Send Any Money

Romance scams are among the most financially and emotionally devastating frauds in America. In 2025, Americans reported losing over $1.3 billion to romance scams, with seniors losing the most per victim, an average of over $9,000 each. These scams succeed not because victims are foolish, but because the scammers are skilled at building genuine-feeling emotional connections over weeks or months before ever asking for money.

If you have met someone online who seems wonderful, here are the warning signs to watch for before you send any money.

The Red Flags

1. They Cannot Video Chat

This is the number one red flag. A romance scammer will always have an excuse for why they cannot do a live video call. Their camera is broken. Their internet is too slow. They are in an area without good service. They are shy. The excuses will continue indefinitely because they cannot let you see them. They are not who they say they are. If someone you met online refuses to do a live video call after several weeks of communication, that is a serious warning sign.

2. They Profess Love Very Quickly

Romance scammers move fast emotionally. They may say "I love you" within days or weeks. They talk about a future together, marriage, moving in, growing old together. This technique is called "love bombing," and its purpose is to create a strong emotional bond quickly so that when the money request comes, you feel too invested to say no.

3. They Eventually Ask for Money

This is always the endgame. The request may come after weeks or months of relationship building. Common reasons include:

• A medical emergency for themselves or a family member.
• Travel costs to come visit you.
• A business deal that fell through.
• Customs fees to release a package or inheritance.
• Legal trouble that requires bail or lawyer fees.

A real romantic partner you have never met in person would not ask you for money. Period.

4. Their Profile Fits a Pattern

Romance scammers tend to use certain cover stories. The most common fake identities include:

• Military service member deployed overseas, which conveniently explains why they cannot visit or video chat.
• Doctor or engineer working on a contract in another country, often in Africa, the Middle East, or on an oil rig.
• Successful business person who is temporarily abroad for work.
• Widowed single parent looking for a fresh start, which builds sympathy.

These personas are designed to explain away the inability to meet in person while also creating a picture of someone stable and trustworthy.

5. Their Photos May Be Stolen

Romance scammers steal photos from real people's social media profiles and dating apps. You can check whether someone's photos are real by doing a reverse image search. On a computer, go to images.google.com, click the camera icon, and upload or paste the URL of their photo. If the same photo appears on multiple different profiles with different names, you are dealing with a scammer.

How to Protect Yourself

• Insist on a live video call within the first few weeks. If they cannot or will not video chat, treat it as a serious red flag.
• Do a reverse image search on their profile photos. This takes less than a minute and can reveal stolen images.
• Never send money to someone you have not met in person. Make this an absolute rule with no exceptions.
• Talk to friends and family. Scammers thrive on secrecy. Share what is happening with people you trust and listen to their concerns.
• Be skeptical of perfection. If someone seems too perfect, too attentive, and too eager to commit, ask yourself why someone this perfect is pursuing a relationship entirely online.
• Watch for inconsistencies. Scammers sometimes forget details of their cover story. If facts do not add up, pay attention.

What to Do If You Think You Are Being Scammed

1. Stop all communication with the person immediately.
2. Do not send any more money, no matter what reason they give or how much they say they need you.
3. Report the profile on the dating site or social media platform where you met them.
4. File a report with the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov.
5. Report to the FBI's IC3 at ic3.gov if you sent money.
6. Talk to someone you trust. Romance scam victims often feel shame, but this is not your fault. Scammers are professionals, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength.

If You Have Lost Money

If you have already sent money to a romance scammer, know that you are not alone and there may be options for recovery. Contact your bank or financial institution immediately to see if any transactions can be reversed. You should also explore whether your losses may be deductible on your tax return. The licensed CPAs at ScamTaxHelp.com offer free consultations to help scam victims understand their financial recovery options.